yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
