I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
