I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
