I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize