I look better un-naked...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
