Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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