just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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