saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize