After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
