Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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