wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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