she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
