What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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