I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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