I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
