come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
