addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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