We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize