so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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