I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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