is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
