That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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