Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
