I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
