escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dignity is for republicans.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
