honey bunches of taint.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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