dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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