I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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