Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
