just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
