Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
