i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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