I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
