Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
