"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
