He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
