we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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