next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
