y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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