I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
