i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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