some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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