I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
