please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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