hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
