Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
