Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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