Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
