I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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