every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We need to get me chipped asap
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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