i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
