I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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