ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
