He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
