Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
