it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize