You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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