Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
