what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize