Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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