After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
