Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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