my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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