If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
