We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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