so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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