So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Still dying that you shit outside
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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